12 Weeks tomorrow

So, it's already been 12 weeks since I had my baby Connor. Wow! Time really does fly. I know that everyone told me that having a baby changes everything, but I never knew it would this much. I can't even explain how much I love him. I know that I'm not the only parent that feels that way about their child, but I just can't get over how much I love him. He really makes me feel so wonderful inside when he smiles. He just started laughing today....that is something that is just so precious. I love him so much and I just hope that he knows that. I always thought I would go back to work after I had him, but I just don't know how I will be able to do that. I didn't want to leave him the moment I saw him. I have to start work on Monday and I dreading it like crazy. I am only going to work 3 days a week, but I my mind that is 3 days too many. I am trying to figure everything out so I don't have to work at some time, but I don't know when. It seems like everything is standing in my way from doing that. I just don't understand why I felt so good about buying my house and everything when in the end I was going to end up feeling like this. Things have been frustrating in that sense. Scott has been not very helpful or understanding and has been extrememly grouchy. It doesn't help matters one bit. I keep reminding myself that I love Connor and he is wonderful and that I need to be a good mom to him. I am reminding myself that I have a wonderful life......thats why my blog is named this. I have loving parents and a cute cute cute baby boy and a Heavenly Father who loves and sends me blessings. That is what matters....my life is wonderful!